Finding Joy In Single Parenting
You’ve found yourself in a “single situation,” but that doesn’t mean you have to “single-handily” go on the journey of solo parenting. Too many single parents find themselves in isolation, gripped with loneliness, anger, sadness, self-sufficiency, and even depression. In nearly every situation, however, there is one emotion that every single mom has packed in her bag.
FEAR.
Whether it is the mom forced to live in her car or the mom leaving an abusive relationship or the mom with no job and a newborn on the way, or the unmarried mom with four kids, they are all carrying fear like it’s an essential garment they have to wear every day. And it’s understandable since resources for single parents are difficult to find, even in the church. Many people can’t relate to a single parent's life and challenges, which leads to feeling misunderstood, overlooked, rejected, and abandoned.
What if we could replace those negative feelings with something better?
JOY.
Finding Joy Is Possible
We asked a former mom from Shepherd’s Village who is filled with joy to tell us a few of the secrets she’s learned on her single mom journey. She shared six tips that work well for single moms and dads.
1: ASK FOR HELP
If you carry all your burdens by yourself, you’re stealing your own joy. It’s okay to admit you need help. Self-sufficiency isn’t the solution to your pain. The more I tried to do on my own, the more I walked along the path of isolation and limited what God wanted to do in my life and in my son’s life.
I needed to eat my pride and rely on others, and I couldn’t assume people knew how to help me. I had to get vulnerable enough to share my situation with people. And guess what? People WANTED to help.
Yes, I found joy in receiving help from others, but the greatest joy comes from extending support to those in need.
2: CHOOSE GRATITUDE
I used to spend a lot of time wallowing in self-pity, and that “woe is me” mentality came from how I thought about money. I thought, “If only I had money, my son and I would be happy.”
One day, I felt convicted to shift my thoughts away from longing and move them toward gratitude. Every night, I started jotting down three things I was thankful for that day. Soon, I felt my heart change. Many of my blessings were things money could never buy. As single parents, we have the financial burden of providing for ourselves and our children, but we are mistaken if we think that joy comes from financial security. Joy comes from gratitude and knowing we are still rich in blessing, even if we feel dirt poor.
3: GET MOVING
Many single parents don’t make time for physical activity. I used to wake up, hit the ground running, and pass out at night from a long day of demands. Then I would wonder why I felt so depressed and anxious all the time. It turns out exercise is a great way to drive happiness, and it also delivers all kinds of other benefits.
I started looking for ways to sneak it into my day. I’d walk over my lunch break, park the car far away from the grocery store doors, march in place as I washed dishes, or turn clean-up time into a dance party. Movement is free. Try it for 30 days and experience its results.
4: REMOVE TOXINS
No, I’m not talking about the latest detox diet. I’m talking about anything or anyone harmful, chaotic, and unhealthy. You can’t find joy when hurts, habits, and hang-ups surround you.
I learned this when I joined a local Celebrate Recovery group at a local church. Through Celebrate Recovery, I found God's healing power in my life as I applied Biblical principles and began to grow spiritually. I became free from the pain of my past and the poor choices I made in my present. Removing toxins from my life allowed me to find peace, serenity, and joy through a stronger personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
5: GET PLUGGED INTO A CHURCH
There truly is no joy outside of a relationship with Jesus Christ brings. I had to get plugged into a local church and commit to going every week. Even more, I had to be willing to get involved and serve. It wasn’t always easy to show up alone to events or sit by myself on a Sunday morning, but in time I realized I had a community of people around me that surrounded me with care.
If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus or are looking for a church in your area, please contact Shepherd’s Village so we can help you. You were not meant to walk through the journey alone. And you don’t have to.
6: JOY IS A CHOICE
There is no need to suffer in silence anymore unless you want to. Joy is a choice.
Choose today to surround yourself with people who have walked your walk or are currently walking that walk. I always say, “Life is a matter of perspective. It’s what you focus on that counts.” Wake up every morning and say out loud, “Today, I choose joy!” Then, fill your mind with truth.
Here are a few ways to get started:
Sign up for SV University
Read our blog
Subscribe to our podcast
Join one of our Life Skills classes
Fill out our prayer form
Open your Bible and pray
WHAT ABOUT YOUR KIDS?
You’re not the only one in need of joy. Your kids need it too.
Time is your most valuable commodity, and you should spend it lavishly on them. They need you as much as you can be there with them. (That means putting the phone away!)
When you’re full of joy, it will spill over to your children. You can’t contain joy.
ARE YOU LOCAL TO SHEPHERD’S VILLAGE?
We just launched the Stay and Play Whole Family Learning Center in Largo, FL. This is a “tech-no” free space where we teach parents how to engage with their kids through the art of play. It’s easy these days for parents to just set an iPad or an iPhone in front of their kids to entertain them, but that only isolates them and interferes with their interpersonal relationships. What a joy-stealer!
Families can find joy at the Stay and Play Whole Family Learning Center through play, arts and crafts, imagination stations, and cooking classes as they connect and commune with one another. Contact us to learn more.
At SV, we come alongside single parents and support them in their singleness. We have the tools and resources for the right relationship. If you live in the Tampa Bay area, please contact us about finding a Celebrate Recovery group near you or connecting with our free resources.
Check Out Our Podcast
It’s a Single Mom Thing podcast episode titled: Joy Over Jolly Devotional Thought
