Dear Single Mom on Valentine’s Day
#DearMom,
First, you’re amazing. Congratulations on getting through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. You did it!
And…here we go again. Another holiday. Another opportunity for difficult emotions to resurface.
Valentine’s Day is upon us.
It’s hard to escape the overflowing, gooey love merchandise that accosts us at every turn, isn’t it? There’s an emotional assault on us that starts the moment stores take down the Christmas merchandise. In fact, we saw giant hearts full of chocolates creeping onto the shelves even before the candy canes were gone.
Single people everywhere have nominated Valentine’s Day the worst of all the holidays, and with good cause. As if being a single mom isn’t hard enough on an average day, this holiday has a way of making life even more complicated. All the love and romance in the air adds pressure, anxiety, and possibly even shame. It’s a reminder that shouts, “I’m missing something.” Or even more, “I am missing someone.”
Hey, Single Mom…you are worthy of love.
In fact, you are the most loving, incredible, brave person we know.
Disarming the Battlefield of Emotions
It’s time to stand up to the negative feelings and voices that rob you from having a joy-filled, positive life.
Let’s write new scripts for three of the most common inward thoughts single moms have on Valentine’s Day.
What’s wrong with me? Why does everyone else seem to have a great relationship, but not me?
CELEBRATE WHAT YOU DO HAVE
Many women feel sad and depressed without “someone special” to share their life with. Add past experiences of broken trust and heaps of hurt from previous relationships and the struggle of being alone can leave a gnawing pit deep inside of us.
We can flip that script, however. Valentine’s Day is just another day, and any day you’ve been given to be alive can (and should) be a good day. Each day is a chance to prove that God has a purpose for your life and for the lives of your children. Motherhood comes with enough of its own emotional battles, so there’s no need to allow a retail-driven holiday to lead you toward despair over what “they” say is missing from your life.
Instead, set your mind on what you do have.
Right where you are–right now–open your hands in front of you. No, really. Go ahead and do it. Now, release what society says you need to have, or to become, in order to feel complete and whole. Focus on being present with what you have right now. Keep your hands open and accept all of the blessings you already possess with thankfulness. Also, open your hands wide to all God has planned for you that you haven’t received yet. The greatest days are still in front of you!
This Valentine’s Day, keep your hands open. Release and receive. Your worth is so much greater than being someone else’s Valentine.
What’s wrong with me? Why does everyone else seem to have a great relationship, but not me?
CELEBRATE WHAT YOU DO HAVE
Many women feel sad and depressed without “someone special” to share their life with. Add past experiences of broken trust and heaps of hurt from previous relationships and the struggle of being alone can leave a gnawing pit deep inside of us.
We can flip that script, however. Valentine’s Day is just another day, and any day you’ve been given to be alive can (and should) be a good day. Each day is a chance to prove that God has a purpose for your life and for the lives of your children. Motherhood comes with enough of its own emotional battles, so there’s no need to allow a retail-driven holiday to lead you toward despair over what “they” say is missing from your life.
Instead, set your mind on what you do have.
Right where you are–right now–open your hands in front of you. No, really. Go ahead and do it. Now, release what society says you need to have, or to become, in order to feel complete and whole. Focus on being present with what you have right now. Keep your hands open and accept all of the blessings you already possess with thankfulness. Also, open your hands wide to all God has planned for you that you haven’t received yet. The greatest days are still in front of you!
This Valentine’s Day, keep your hands open. Release and receive. Your worth is so much greater than being someone else’s Valentine.
I can’t stand my coworkers and friends who “brag” about their Valentine gifts and special dates of undying passionate love. Don’t they know how that makes me feel?
FIND THE HOPE
Hey, Mama, you rock! It’s hard not to allow our relationship status to define our worth or our happiness. Whether you have never been married or you’ve been divorced or widowed, it’s good to remember that there are many seasons in life and each one has its roses and thorns, so to speak.
Your coworkers and friends don’t want to make you feel bad. They are happy, excited, and in love; yet, with all the smooching and bragging going on, we understand how tempting it could be to isolate yourself, feel angry at the world, or throw an epic pity party.
Instead of feeling sad, why not look for hope? When you see someone in a relationship that makes you feel envious, seek out that person and ask them for any wisdom and encouragement they could give you. Begin to see your friend’s happiness as your possibility to have that type of relationship too. Just because your past relationship didn’t end well, doesn’t mean you can’t experience a healthy relationship in the future.
Here’s an idea. Write yourself a love letter this year. Only use encouraging words about yourself, your children, and your future. Let yourself dream. We get so caught up listening to the bully inside our head, but it’s time to silence that monster. Speak words of hope and truth over yourself this Valentine’s Day. Save it and plan to look back on that same letter next Valentine’s Day.
I long for romance and being showered with flowers, candies, and gifts.
KNOW THE GREATEST LOVE
A longing for Prince Charming is common among women. Of course, we want a man who is calling the florist, making dinner reservations, and stressing about the exact perfect gift to get us. It’s a dream many of us have had since we were little girls.
Whether we want to admit it or not, deep down we all have a fundamental longing for the warmth of affection and the security of knowing that we are the center of someone else’s universe.
The greatest romance story can be yours, without waiting. Psalm 17:8 says, “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.”
God is keeping his eye on you and protecting you with the embrace of his strong, mighty wings. Why? Because you are precious to him. When you realize that you are an attractive, intelligent, courageous woman (who also happens to be a single daughter of a powerful King), your perspective changes. There’s only one place where you can receive the absolute truth about love, worthiness, and beauty, and that’s in the Word of God.
God’s gift to you–this Valentine’s Day and EVERY day–is his redeeming love, which is infinitely more valuable than any bouquet, chocolate, or jewelry. If you don’t know that love, we want to share it with you. It changes EVERYTHING.
We’d love to pray for you. Below, there’s a link to our prayer page. There, you’ll find a helpful resource with more information about God’s love for you, as well as our prayer hotline and prayer request form.
Dear Mom, you are loved! Deeply loved. We’re here for you, on Valentine’s Day and every day.
