3 Things I Learned About Parenting With Purpose

It’s been eight years since I entered the world (and label) of being a “single mom.”  Before that time, I was blessed with a wonderful husband for almost nine years. When we brought home our first child from the hospital, he shared so much of the parenting partnership with me—feedings, sleepless nights, sick days, and bedtime routines.  

Some would say I was spoiled to have a husband who was so hands-on and involved, and I would have to agree.  He was a gift from God for whom I am forever grateful.

Then came the engulfing wave of grief from the suddenness of his death. 

Welcome To Single Motherhood

How could I have prepared for the transition to doing it all alone as a widowed single mother? From the time my alarm clock went off each morning until I gave the last goodnight kiss each night, my mind and my feet were constantly in motion. 

I’ve had to prepare countless meals for little eaters who are much pickier than my husband ever was, causing me to question whether the prep time was even worth it.  (Are pancakes ok to eat every night?)  

I have lost count of the hundreds of school drop-offs, pickups, and extracurricular activities I’ve done alone over the years in an attempt to keep my kids’ routines and childlike-worlds as normal as possible through all of the family changes and transitions.   

One of the hardest things about single motherhood is that I often don’t hear one word of thanks. My husband was good at showing gratitude, so trying to do all that I do now to juggle my children’s needs without being told “thank you” has been quite an adjustment. 

Finding A New Purpose In The Mundane

Once I understood that it was unrealistic to expect that my three kids fill the void my husband left, I also realized that I had to define new purposes for the many mundane and monotonous moments in my days. More importantly, I had to be passionate and intentional about carrying out those purposes, no matter what may come my way.  

Here are just a few ways that I have found to parent with purpose, even when single-mom-life is tiring, tedious, and uninteresting.  

3 Tips To Parenting With Purpose

 1. Remember the big picture. 

I know what I want to develop in my children and the kind of character I want them to have as future adults. I constantly have to think and pray about who they will be someday. This long-term view has helped me get through all of the seemingly mundane tasks that don’t feel very purposeful at the moment.   

One of the secrets to keeping the long-term view has been connecting with other moms who are a season ahead of me. They remind me that “this too shall pass” and help me be more prepared for what’s to come.  I also strive to encourage moms in the season behind me, helping them navigate their hard days.  

May we never forget that we need each other. It truly does take a village to raise these precious children of ours.

2.  Intentionally give yourself breaks. 

If I want to be a successful, purposeful mom, I need to give myself breaks and recharge to better parent my children.  I have to include “pick-me-ups” in my days that bring me happiness. For me, those things look like drinking from a favorite mug filled with steaming coffee, reading a few pages in a book I enjoy, or spending a few minutes learning from an online photography class. 

I have to be intentional about giving myself those breaks and not waiting for others to give them to me. As moms, we are usually so good about putting everyone else’s needs above our own, but let’s remember that we also have needs that we shouldn’t neglect.

3.  Be confident that you do not walk alone. 

As single moms, I am so thankful that we don’t walk one single step of this journey alone, even when it often feels that way. The Lord has equipped us with everything we need for this challenging journey by giving us Himself.   

Hebrews 13:5 says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  

When we are weak, He is strong.  When we don’t know what to do, He has promised to give us wisdom if we ask Him.  When we need to know we are loved, He’s given us His Word full of reminders of His great love for us and numerous promises to which we can cling.

No To Fear And Yes to His Purpose

I know that it’s so easy to entertain fearful thoughts as we think ahead to what our family’s future may hold, but we have the decision to trust our Heavenly Father to provide and care for us as His beloved daughters.  

We can be confident the Lord has purposefully entrusted our kids to us, and He will equip us for whatever we need to raise them.  His presence is a huge blessing that far outweighs any fear.   

Today, let’s choose to say “no” to the fear and rise up to be the strong single moms we can be by His strength alone. 

About the Author: Christy Davis is a mom to three children and lives in Clearwater. When not working as a teacher, she enjoys reading, exercising, and trying out new coffee shops.  She is grateful for the opportunity to share her story with others as she sees the Lord continue to work in her life.