When you Feel like the Only Mom in Town
I have children and none of my friends do. It makes me feel like I’m the only mom in town sometimes. Often, I’m stuck venting about my struggles and sharing my joys of motherhood with…myself. I have my mom, my aunt, and a few other family members, but my family members have already raised their babies in a different time, where kids played outside until dinner and no one had a phone before high school. I am missing mom friends who are in the same season of life as me.
I Don’t Want to Be the “Only One”
Since I am the only one who has kids, I feel like the only one who can’t do the things my friends are doing. I don’t like how that feels. I don’t like being the “only one” on the outside.
I hear my carefree twenty-something friends talking about their spontaneous trips to fabulous places or talking about taking naps (sounds like a dream to me!) or staying out late to enjoy the nightlife with other friends. They talk about their skinny bodies and the time they spend at the gym or in front of the mirror fixing their perfect hair and makeup. I simply don’t have the time for those things anymore.
I long for a mom friend who can relate to me.
A friend who sips iced coffee with me as we watch our kids growing up together.
A friend who sits by my side at the mall playground as our screaming, running “littles” tire themselves out–and we have the relief of a three-hour nap.
A friend who I can text saying “Is this normal?” followed by something strange my kid is doing.
A friend who knows that going out to eat with two babies always turns out the same way: The kids don’t eat what you order them. You end up eating cold food from a to-go box on the way home.
A friend who plans to work out with me, but instead ends up sitting on the couch with me eating a container of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream.
A friend who both laughs and cries with me as we watch our children fill our hearts.
A friend who also always has:
A freezer stocked with chicken nuggets, waffles, and go-gurts
Car seats lined with goldfish crumbs
Laundry with either pee, spit-up, peanut butter, or popsicle stains
Hidden treats and a pack of crayons inside her purse for an emergency situation.
Shifting the “Only One” Focus
Recently, I’ve had a shift in focus, though. Sure, there are things I give up by being the “only mom in town” but I am now focusing on what I do have. I am the “only one” but in so many great ways!
I’m the only one who gets to be the mama of these two beautiful children who light up my days with their smiles and learning.
I’m the only one whose heart wells up with pride every time they run up and hug me or give me a random kiss.
I’m the only one that gets to wake up to children that adore me and rely on me.
I’m the only one. Me. How lucky I am!
I have faith that my mom friend will come along. For now, though, I’m blessed in so many other ways–different ways.
Take a Blessings Inventory
It’s time to take an inventory of my blessings.
It takes a village to raise children, and I DO have my village.
My life is full of people I can call and ask “How in the world did you potty train your kids?”
I am blessed to have people who will keep my children when I need some time to myself or need to do things that are easier without a baby on my hip.
I am grateful that there are people who rally around me day after day and make an investment in me and my children. They love me and encourage me.
I may feel like the only mom in town, but I have a wealth of people who, combined, do make up the mom-friend I am longing to have. Without them, I would not be able to be the best mom I can be.
To all the moms who feel like they are the only mom in town, look around you. Take inventory of the people and resources you DO have. You might be surprised at how incredibly blessed you truly are.
Let Us Know If You Need Prayer
Do you need prayer? Maybe the weight of loneliness is real and heavy for you right now. Being a single mom is not easy. Maybe you’re longing for friendship and a community to support you. Shepherd’s Village wants you to know that you aren’t alone.
We have a prayer hotline* if you’d like to speak with someone directly 855-822-PRAY or you can fill out a prayer request form on our website and we will pray for you. You are not alone.